Chapter 38 – Suspicion, Tail
2024.02.07
At my question, the captain gave a small nod.
“Yes.”
“Even if I was dragged around by his orders without the will to resist?”
“You couldn’t have helped it. I no longer intend to blame you for that matter.”
After saying that much, the captain added:
“And back then, you didn’t seem particularly happy. Of course, the dance was splendid… but apart from that, you looked gloomy.”
“……”
“So I regretted it. I realized I had blamed you without really considering your position. It finally occurred to me that you might be following him because of an imperial order you couldn’t disobey.”
For some reason, my eyes prickled slightly.
Perhaps, in the captain’s eyes, I had looked like a fool bewitched by Ernant’s face, eagerly offering myself as his subordinate.
But that wasn’t the case anymore.
He had finally recognized that I was following Ernant because I had no choice.
Feeling relieved, I confided in the captain:
“If I didn’t look happy… then you saw correctly. Spending time with His Majesty isn’t as enjoyable as it used to be. There was a time when I followed him loyally, but now… I’m not so sure.”
“May I ask what made you change your mind so suddenly?”
“……”
The real, decisive reason was that I had returned after being betrayed by Ernant, but of course I couldn’t say that, so I gave a vague excuse.
“Because it hurt.”
“It hurt?”
“Yes. Loyalty that would never be rewarded, love that would never be returned—those were all painful. Captain, have you ever experienced unrequited love?”
He thought for a moment before answering.
“No.”
“Then it may be hard for you to truly understand my feelings, but unrequited love is quite painful. Even when you shout from the top of a mountain, you at least hear an echo, but with unrequited love, there isn’t even that. You just keep giving love and devotion that will never come back to you.”
“……”
“That’s why… I’ve decided to stop. To stop that kind of painful self-torment.”
I hadn’t realized how comforting it would be to lay bare my wounds so honestly to someone else.
It felt like the heavy block of ice that had been pressing on my heart was finally melting away.
But at the same time, I wondered if I hadn’t gone too far, telling the captain something far too personal.
“Come to think of it, I think I may have gone overboard with personal talk. Please forget what I just said.”
“No, not at all. I’d like you to share everything with me without holding back. Painful stories left inside only turn into illness.”
“Thank you. I feel much better having told you.”
It was pure honesty, without a hint of falsehood.
My heart felt so light, I almost regretted not speaking up sooner.
When I gave him a grateful smile, he mirrored it with one of his own.
“I’d like to be someone who can comfort you from now on as well. If you like, I could dance with you again like last time.”
“Ah, you mean when we danced together in the square during the festival? That was certainly fun.”
The joy of that moment—dancing together to lively music—came back to me vividly.
“I enjoyed dancing with you in the square far more than when I danced with His Majesty in the ballroom wearing a dress.”
“……”
“I mean it.”
I thought he would say he’d enjoyed it too, but the captain stayed silent for a long while.
He only gazed quietly at me.
Just when I was about to feel embarrassed, wondering if I had been the only one having fun that day—
“Well now.”
“…?”
“When you say things like that, you make me start thinking strange thoughts. Was that your intention?”
“…? What do you mean by strange thoughts?”
What on earth was he imagining?
While I was still puzzled, he ran one hand through his hair.
Thanks to that, the strands that had been slightly covering his face fell away, revealing his striking profile.
Just as I was thinking how chiseled his face looked, that same face turned toward me.
“……”
“……”
All he did was turn his head in my direction, yet the space between us suddenly felt very small.
It might have been a silly thought, but it felt like even if our lips were to touch, it wouldn’t seem strange.
My heart, which had been calm, began to beat faster.
My senses sharpened, and all that heightened awareness focused entirely on him.
Those lion-like golden eyes.
The flawlessly straight line of his nose.
The perfect shape of his lips.
I etched every detail of his face into my memory.
As we were locked in each other’s gaze, his lips finally parted.
“When you said you enjoyed being with me more than with the Emperor… it makes me have strange thoughts.”
“And by strange thoughts, you mean…”
I swallowed dryly and asked.
By now, I thought I knew what his answer would be, but I still wanted to hear it from his lips.
At last, after what felt like an eternity, the captain asked me:
“Do you want to know what strange thought I had?”
“…Yes, I’d like to hear it.”
“The thought I had was, for example, that you—”
“Captain! Vice-captain! You’re both here?”
Just as he was about to finish, Karl suddenly appeared from behind some nearby bushes.
Calling out to us loudly, he started walking toward us.
“You didn’t come back for a long time, so I came looking for you.”
The captain, who had been standing close to me, quickly rose to his feet.
“We’ve been away too long. Sorry to make you worry. Let’s head back. Come, Yulia.”
He held out his hand to me.
I gladly took it and stood up.
Karl’s gaze briefly flicked to our joined hands, but then quickly moved away.
He smiled brightly as always and pointed toward the cave where the others were.
“Shall we go? Everyone’s waiting.”
After that, we walked together toward the cave.
Following behind Karl and the captain, I found myself wondering—
I hadn’t noticed Karl approaching earlier. Was I that focused on the captain?
I was usually sensitive to my surroundings, able to sense when something—or someone—was coming, whether monster or human.
But while talking to the captain, I hadn’t sensed Karl until he was right upon us.
I had been so absorbed in looking into the captain’s eyes.
What had the captain been about to say before Karl interrupted?
I stole a glance at him.
He was just walking ahead in silence, his pace steady and confident, as if nothing had happened.
It occurred to me that it might take quite some time before he opened up and finished what he had been about to say.
We spent the night in the cave, and the next morning we stood by the riverbank.
To reach the Queen’s location, we had to cross this river—but fortunately, it wasn’t difficult thanks to Elma’s teleportation ability.
Elma held out her hand to the group.
“Alright, everyone, please hold hands.”
We followed her instructions, linking our hands together.
Once everyone was connected, Elma activated her ability.
I quietly blinked, waiting, and before long, I heard her voice.
“We’ve arrived.”
When I looked around, we were already on the other side of the river.
Unlike my own flashy ability, Elma’s was silent—she could instantly move anything or anyone she was touching to another location without a sound.
As I looked at the completely changed scenery in the blink of an eye, I thought to myself—
Her power might not be limitless, but it was still the perfect ability for smuggling monsters away.
Completely unaware that I was suspicious of her, Elma beamed and asked me:
“Now that we’ve crossed the river, we’re almost there, right?”
“Yes, but we must be careful. It’ll be more dangerous than before—we’re now in an area full of powerful monsters.”
Then I turned to warn the captain as well.
“This place is crawling with strong monsters. I don’t think I’ll be able to sense all of them. We need to be extra vigilant.”
The only reason I knew about the monsters’ habitats and the island’s terrain was because I was a regressor.
I’d told the group it was thanks to my almost supernatural senses, but that was a lie—I had no such ability.
I couldn’t detect every monster that might suddenly appear, so I had to warn them in advance.
At that moment, Caroline muttered under her breath:
“I thought you could sense all of them…”
“……”
“That’s what I thought.”
