[CHAPTER 51]
Looking back, it truly had been the entire day.
From the moment I opened my eyes in the morning, at Ocean Agency, and even here in this café.
Mayna kept touching and peeling her lips whenever there was the slightest chance.
She even chewed on them without realizing it.
“My, your lips are in terrible shape.”
Even Wigo, who usually got scolded by his wife Banze whenever she changed her hairstyle or wore new clothes since he never noticed, felt sorry for her.
So it wasn’t because my lips were dry all day…
“You punished your lips instead of your heart.”
Viterion said.
As if he had read Mayna’s thoughts.
…
Mayna couldn’t reply.
All she could do was sit there, letting him see her anxious gaze and a heart that trembled even more.
That line Caliph had crossed.
It had been only a single day, yet she had tried to ignore it because it was too painful, too horrifying.
Recently he had been frighteningly angry, emotional, and last night he had been terribly drunk.
So she decided that the act of forcing his lips and tongue against hers must have been just another expression of rage.
More precisely, she decided that this morning because she needed a way to endure.
She concluded it was not a kiss with Caliph but a fight.
“Lady.”
Viterion called her quietly.
Mayna forced herself to look at him with eyes that seemed ready to cry.
“I am… I am sorry, Your Highness.”
Mayna shut her eyes tightly after speaking in a trembling voice.
Showing such a miserable state in front of him, especially at a moment where they might discuss her possible recruitment to the agency, was unacceptable.
“Lady.”
“…”
“Open your eyes and look at me.”
His voice was gentle but firm.
Mayna managed to lift her eyelids.
“The reason I asked to meet today is to give you a clear answer.”
“…”
“I will not work as a Holy Knight, so I will not be signing with Ocean Agency.”
Mayna felt deep despair.
She expected it to be difficult and refused to give up, but he was far more resolute than she imagined.
“There are two reasons.”
“May I ask what they are?”
“Of course. First, I do not trust my ability.”
Viterion suddenly became cold as he continued without a trace of emotion.
“I cannot count the number of people I have killed. Everything my hand touches burns, freezes, melts, or shatters.”
“…”
“When I was young, many adults tried to comfort me. Viterion Parker, it’s alright. You didn’t want it to happen.”
He paused.
His face held no emotion, resembling a sculpture or a painting rather than a living person.
He was breathtakingly beautiful, but no trace of life existed in him.
“Of course, I never wanted it.”
“…”
“But can that ever excuse the terrifying sins I committed?”
His sharp question wasn’t directed at Mayna but at himself.
Mayna stared at Viterion’s amethyst eyes, shining under the sunlight.
They were beautiful like gemstones, mesmerizing enough to pull someone in.
Yet at this moment, they held no life.
Like a mineral long dead, his eyes showed how long he had suffered.
How heavy the guilt must have been since childhood.
How many nights he must have endured suffering to speak such things with no emotion left.
“When I was fourteen, I learned for the first time that what I believed to be a mysterious disease or curse was actually my ability. My family rejoiced upon learning I awakened as an X-grade Holy Knight without undergoing any advancement process, but from that moment, I began hiding my existence.”
“…”
“Many told me to use my power for the Empire.”
He let out a faint laugh between his teeth.
It looked as fragile as a late-autumn leaf ready to crumble.
“I don’t want to kill anymore.”
“…”
“Not even those who deserve death, not even monsters. I don’t want to kill.”
Mayna couldn’t speak.
Anything she could say felt shallow compared to the depth of his torment.
“The second reason I will not work as a Holy Knight is you, Lady Winslet.”
“…Yes, Your Highness.”
Mayna barely forced out the words.
“It is because of you.”
His next words shut her mouth again.
Why… Why because of me?
She repeated silently and waited for him to continue.
“When I saw you, I wondered if you might be the only one who could control my power.”
She remembered the moment from the secret mansion when he removed his robe and placed his hand against hers and nothing happened.
His face as he failed to contain his emotion replayed vividly.
“If you truly are the only answer and could stay by my side, then maybe… I could stop hurting anyone. And if that became possible, then perhaps I could try anything together with you.”
It was the first time he hesitated since the conversation began.
“But you are not as strong as I hoped.”
“…”
Mayna realized his hesitation came from fear that he might hurt her feelings.
Even now, he couldn’t abandon his sincerity.
He continued with a calm expression.
“So if you become someone I can trust as strong enough, come find me again.”
“…”
His last words felt like a thin thread of hope.
But how…?
Viterion spoke again, as if reading her thoughts.
“Stay away from whatever makes you weak.”
Mayna blinked, unable to grasp his meaning.
“Whatever makes you anxious, hurt, or sad.”
Warmth returned to Viterion like ice melting in spring, and he looked at her for a long time.
Mayna felt lost, as if facing a riddle she could never solve.
“Then I will take my leave.”
He did not wait for someone as pitiful as her.
With graceful movements, he rose from his seat and opened a portal, then paused.
“I don’t know when we will meet again, but stay well, Lady.”
He smiled faintly.
“Your lips are badly damaged.”
Mayna stayed seated alone until the café owner, Tira, returned.
Only then did she step outside.
To her surprise, it was already quite dark.
She had no idea how long she had spoken with Viterion, and how long she remained sitting afterward.
She could not sense the passing of time.
Someone suddenly blocked her path.
