That day, catching sight of my husband was nothing more than an accident.
Accidents, more often than not, are not things one can rejoice over.
I am registered as a supporter with the guild in the royal capital of the Kingdom of Balaresia, accompanying quests only when summoned. I do so only during the periods when my husband, a royal knight, is absent from home for half of each month.
Five years into our marriage, we still have no children.
Perhaps it cannot be helped, given that he is gone half the time. Still, with no child to occupy my days, I decided it would be a waste to let my time slip by unused, so I chose to earn money instead.
That day, I had been called in simply because they were short-handed.
We defeated the monsters lurking near the town of Marseize, a little distance away. The quest ended without incident, and the leader announced that we would be staying the night in town and returning the following day. I agreed and followed his decision.
After checking in at the inn, we were told to take our meals freely.
Normally, we would dine together as a party to strengthen bonds or report progress. This time, however, aside from myself and one other, the group consisted of the leader and his harem party. Even if we were told to act freely, the leader and his harem would naturally gather together, and the other was a taciturn eccentric. So I decided to eat alone.
I still had plenty of energy, the sun was high, and since I rarely had the chance to visit this town, I wanted to walk around. I left the inn and wandered out into the streets.
The road was lined with numerous food stalls, the air filled with savory aromas. I stopped by the stalls that had caught my attention on the way to the inn, buying food and eating as I walked.
The seasoning suited my tastes perfectly, and I found myself eating more than usual.
It was still bright and lively, and the atmosphere was different from the royal capital. My spirits lifted without me realizing it.
“…Eh?”
Amid the flow of people, I froze upon seeing someone who should not have been there.
The man had a small child riding on his shoulders, one hand wrapped around the waist of a woman beside him.
I told myself it was just someone who looked similar, that mistaking strangers was common enough, and while scolding my trembling legs, I drew closer to the family.
“Papa! I want that!”
“Alright, alright.”
“My goodness, Lilia, you really are happy to see Papa.”
“I’m happy to see you too, Chiara.”
“I wanted to see you too, Leon.”
“Papa and Mama are lovey-dovey!”
“Hey now, Lili, it’s dangerous to move around up there.”
They were unmistakably a happy family.
Stunned, I followed them at a distance.
My husband’s smiling face, the way he repeatedly kissed the child’s mother on the cheek, as though deliberately showing how deeply they loved one another. The child bounced with delight.
It had to be a mistake. Surely this was a dream. Yet alarms rang loudly in my head, because the man being called Papa was, without question, Leon—my husband, or so I believed.
What kind of face did he wear when he was with me?
At the beginning, I think we were affectionate, just the two of us. But recently, all I remember are curt exchanges: tired, food, sleep. We barely spoke at all.
Well… I see.
If he has a family here, if happiness awaits him here, then there is no need for him to be with me. It felt as though something that had been lodged in my chest dropped away all at once.
After that, the family made several purchases. I watched as my husband whispered into the woman’s ear, and she blushed and leaned into him. The sight made me feel sick.
When they entered a house with practiced familiarity, I turned away.
“Guess that’s what they call a local wife, huh?”
“Wha—!?”
I let out a strange sound as a voice suddenly called out behind me.
Anyone would be startled if an unfamiliar face and voice appeared out of nowhere. But the owner of that voice merely smiled cheerfully.
“That guy’s from the Royal Knights, right? I’ve seen him getting recovery potions from the guild. Knights go on expeditions a lot, so they say the odds of having a local wife are pretty high. Guess that means kids aren’t uncommon either.”
He tossed out his tactless words while looking at the house my husband had entered.
I was inexplicably irritated. Remembering what I had just seen made my stomach churn, and I left the spot.
“Ah, wait up! Ms. Sheila!”
I turned around, ready to snap back at him, but the smell drifting from the food stalls—normally harmless—made the nausea worsen, and I clapped a hand over my mouth.
Noticing this, he grabbed my hand and muttered something. In an instant, my body was pulled elsewhere, and before I realized it, I was standing in the washroom of my private room at the inn.
I rushed into the lavatory and emptied my stomach completely.
All the food I had enjoyed from the stalls came back up.
Whether it was a physical reaction or the sorrow of betrayal, tears would not stop, and everything spilled out together.
When it was finally over and I was left exhausted, I noticed the man was still there.
“Hey… that person earlier, was he your husband, Ms. Sheila?”
Drained of strength after vomiting, I glared weakly at him.
“It’s not decided yet. He could just be someone who looks similar.”
“But his voice was the same, and even the name matched.”
“…Even if that were true, it has nothing to do with you.”
When I coldly dismissed him, he—Asti—furrowed his brow.
And truly, it had nothing to do with him. This was the first time we had ever been in the same party, and we had no prior acquaintance.
“Seria, What will you do from now on?”
“What do you mean…?”
Ignoring my confusion, Asti pointed at my abdomen.
Realizing what he meant, my face twisted.
“If you’re going to deal with it, sooner is better. Even if you plan to rebuild your life.”
“What do you mean, deal with it…!”
He was one of this party’s members, an all-rounder sage when it came to magic. What had happened to my body must have been obvious to him at a glance.
Hearing it said aloud made reality crash down on me all at once.
Five years of marriage.
The last time we were together was just before his expedition, when he held me as a matter of routine.
‘We won’t be able to for a while.’
He had taken me as though fulfilling an obligation. And now, for it to bear fruit at this timing—what kind of cruel joke was this?
“That guy earlier was your husband, right? Want to tell him? Should I bring him here now?”
“No. I don’t want to.”
By now, that family was probably laughing together, enjoying their time as one. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to disrupt that.
“What do you want to do, Ms. Sheila?”
Questions rained down on me, one after another, and in my confusion, I didn’t know how to answer.
“What do I want to do? You ask me that, but I can’t say right now. I don’t even understand what’s happening myself. Because… there’s no way…”
I couldn’t bring myself to say the rest.
If I voiced it, it would become real, and that terrified me.
“Even if you look away, reality won’t change.”
“…I know that!”
I shouted, then felt sick again and rushed back to the bathroom. My stomach was already empty, yet my body still tried to retch, waves of nausea crashing over me.
It was painful, as though my stomach would turn inside out. Lonely. Miserable.
Why was I alone at a time like this? The thought filled me with bitterness.
And then I felt a hand rubbing my back, and that small presence brought me a strange sense of relief.
“It’s hard, isn’t it. I’m sorry for being insensitive earlier. If you end up leaving your knight husband, I’ll help.”
His words made my heart jump.
Leaving… my husband.
At that phrase, my hand moved unconsciously to my stomach.
At this timing?
But he was cheating. Worse, he had a child who called him Papa.
The expeditions he claimed took him away for half the month—were they actually for meeting that mother and child in this town?
That was why he didn’t want a child with me?
What if… what if he came to resent this child’s existence?
“Ms. Sheila, it’s alright. I’ll protect you.”
“… ”
“If you leave your husband and decide to give birth alone, I’ll help. I’ll help you escape with everything I have, hide you from him. I’ll protect you, and the child.”
Asti’s words sounded like salvation, and tears welled up.
“Do what you want to do, Ms. Sheila. This too must be some kind of fate.”
“…No matter what, I’ll talk to my husband. Whether we separate or I give birth, the father of this child is him.”
Asti nodded, his expression serious.
Then he stood and left the room.
Silence settled over the room where I was left alone.
“Leon… why…?”
I whispered my husband’s name.
Since when, I wondered.
The child on his shoulders had been old enough to speak clearly.
Three… perhaps four years old.
Even before we married, my husband’s expeditions had been frequent. Pinpointing when it began was impossible.
Still, the weight of having been betrayed for so many years pressed heavily upon me.
There had been the option of divorcing me.
Why hadn’t he chosen that, instead of hiding a child?
No—nothing has been decided yet.
Perhaps the woman’s child was not his, and as a knight he was merely checking on their safety.
There was even the chance it was truly a stranger who resembled him.
Until I heard the truth from his own mouth…
That was what I told myself, but remembering the hand around her waist, a dry laugh escaped me.
If he was going to betray me, I wished he had ended things the moment he did.
“Uugh… ahh…”
My face twisted as sobs spilled out.
Happy memories were trampled into ruin.
They darkened, shattered, and fell apart.
The broken fragments pierced my entire body, pain blooming everywhere. Thorns that could not be pulled out dug deeper and deeper, tearing the wounds wider.
“Leon… why… why…?”
A question with no one to answer echoed emptily.
Wandering in that state for a while, I eventually lost consciousness.
