DSFL | Chapter 107

~Chapter 107~ 

‘Was it really this simple…?’

After leaving the meeting hall, Ricardo pulled the reins of his horse sharply.

He hadn’t even chosen a destination. But deep down, he already knew where he was headed.

Where Bianca was.

That was the only place he truly wanted to go.

As he kicked his horse into motion, a sharp wind brushed past his ears.

Whoosh.

It was annoyingly refreshing.

That unfamiliar, strange feeling dug deep into his mind, shaking up memories he had tried to suppress.

Memories he had buried and ignored—thoughts that had rotted away inside him.

He had lived his entire life in obedience. Even after realizing his situation, he couldn’t escape his fate.

He believed that if he endured long enough, one day he could break free from the name Harness.

But that belief was a mistake.

Once everything was broken, there was nothing left to pick up.

He couldn’t even take control of his own life. He had always depended on others, and that had been his only way to survive.

‘Bianca… I think I finally understand you now.’

Why did you always act like a stranger.

He didn’t get it at first—why she seemed so fed up with the world, like she had no attachment to anything.

But looking back now, he realized he had been wearing the same expression.

Yes, he was the true outsider—not her.

Someone who never belonged anywhere, just walking the path others laid out for him.

Someone who was seen as strange just for trying to be free.

He was nothing but a replaceable part, easily discarded if someone better came along.

No one would remember him once he was no longer useful.

But even so, Bianca had reached out to him without hesitation.

Thanks to her light, he had finally been able to look directly at the darkness of his world.

‘So Bianca, you were never the outsider.’

You were the one who barged into my world—and the only person who saved me from a hellish life.

I can’t erase you from my life anymore.

For the first time, the man who had always wandered without direction finally had a goal.

If there was a world she dreamed of, he wanted to be there with her—no matter where it was.

And if he couldn’t reach it, then he would change this world to match the one she dreamed of.

So that she would never be lonely again.

So that she would never feel like an outsider again.

At that moment, the sharp and vivid feeling struck again—and in it, he saw Bianca.

And finally, he understood.

The name of this feeling that had always been stirring inside him.

It was freedom.

***

‘Where am I…?’

It looked like the capital, but the streets were unfamiliar. Everything felt strange.

I had assumed the coordinates were near the royal palace, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

As I looked around, the sound of horse hooves caught my ear. My body instinctively turned toward the noise.

“Ricardo!”

At my call, he quickly stopped and got off his horse. He didn’t look surprised—he must’ve noticed me long before I called out.

I expected him to look tense or upset, but his face was surprisingly calm.

“…”

But only for a moment. As he stood in front of me, I could sense a strange tension in his expression.

I opened my mouth hesitantly.

“…What are you going to do now?”

Ricardo blinked a few times, looking blank. Then he let out a bitter smile.

“Bianca.”

“Yes?”

“A lot happened today.”

His next words hit me hard in the chest.

“I made a choice that the old me never could’ve made. But I don’t regret it.”

He spoke lightly as he gently brushed some hair from my face.

“I just want the ground you stand on to always be beautiful.”

Then he stepped back and smiled faintly.

It was the most peaceful smile she had ever seen on Ricardo.

…He looked okay. That alone made her feel a little relieved. She shrugged her shoulders slightly.

“So when you said you didn’t want our time together to be wasted… this is what you meant.”

At that, Ricardo paused, like something was bothering him.

“Well, I do have a hidden reason.”

“…What?”

There was a short silence. His gaze slowly dropped to the ground.

“Because you want to leave this place.”

“…”

“I want to hold on to you somehow. But I can’t ask you to stay in a place like this.”

I let out a shaky breath. I had no idea what kind of face I should be making.

“I know you’ve already made up your mind. But I don’t want to just stand by and watch you walk away.”

“…I…”

My lips moved on their own, but I couldn’t say the rest.

What should I say?

My mind felt completely blank.

Of course I had to go back home. That had always been my goal—the thing I had wished for more than anything.

Even the last time I talked to Ricardo, I had told him that, clearly, hadn’t I?

That was the answer I had chosen all along. There had never been any other option.

Whether that was a good thing or not, Ricardo didn’t seem to be waiting for my reply.

“I still believe I can create the world you want—right here.”

“…!”

“I know that’s selfish of me. Just like always.”

He paused briefly—it felt like a long time.

Then he continued with words that felt unpolished and unsteady.

“I don’t even know what I truly want. I want you to stay by my side… but at the same time, I want you to be happy…”

“…”

“But when I imagine you with me, all I can picture is you suffering.”

“I wasn’t suffering.”

I interrupted him.

But like Ricardo, I couldn’t quite get my thoughts together.

“It’s not because of you. I just… have to go.”

…Is this the right thing to say?

Is this really the right answer?

“To where…?”

His voice was strained, as if something was choking him.

“To Leon? Or maybe… the first love you always talk about?”

His hand holding mine was ice cold. Maybe he was nervous.

“I know. I know you love Leon.”

And with that, my confusion only grew.

…Even now, he still thinks that?

And yet he still wants to hold on to me?

Why?

Is he planning to just stand by and watch me with Leon?

That made no sense.

Or did he just want me near him, even if I wasn’t his?

I gave a weak, helpless laugh at the selfishness of it all.

“…You’re saying all this, even though you already know?”

At my words, despair appeared on Ricardo’s face. But he still kept talking.

“That’s why… I can’t ask to be your first. First love or whatever, if it’s important to you, then keep it.”

Ricardo’s eyes began to tremble.

“But please… let me be your last love.”

“…”

“That’s enough for me.”

A warm breath fell on my shoulder.

Despite his stubborn voice, his face looked like it was about to break.

It was as if he was choking on his words—but he still forced them out.

“I know exactly what I’m saying.”

His red eyes met mine in the air between us.

They were firm and unshakable. Eyes of someone who knew what he was doing.

“I love you.”

“…”

“I… really, really love you.”

With that soft, emotional voice, something warm dropped onto the back of my hand.

“That’s why… I can’t tell you it’s okay to leave me.”